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After all the grieving and the non-stop crying, I finally found the courage to start moving on. Why would i hold on to person who’s not willing to fight for me? a person who doesn’t even give a shit about me anymore? yes. indeed. He doesn’t deserve me. It’s time to move on. It’s time to leave the past behind. I know in time.. I will forget all the hurt but the memories will remain. I just can’t wait for the day that I feel better. The day that I can tell myself that I am happy without him. That I’ve forgiven him. I know that time will come but for now.. I will let go of everything. I will accept that it’s over now. 

“what’s so special about me that makes you hold on?” 

This question broke my heart. it’s like he’s pushing me away. he’s been pushing me away since the day that we broke up. I don’t know what to do anymore. I swallowed all my pride for him. i love him too much to let him go. The pain that i’m feeling now is just unbearable but still, after all the hurt, there’s still a part of me that’s hoping that he would take me back. I’m still holding on to everything. I’m still waiting. I wish I could just drop everything that i’m feeling right now. I wish that i would just stop holding on. 

Have you ever felt so much pain in your heart? No matter what you do, It just won’t go away. That’s what i feel right now. No matter how much i cry, the pain just won’t go away. I guess this is just one of the many more nights that i will cry my heart out. I just really hope that one day, I would just wake up and forget all the hurt. I know it will happen.. maybe not today or tomorrow but i know it will. but I guess for now, i have to bear this pain every single day until i won’t feel anything anymore.